Happy Freakin' Thanksgiving


It's that time of year again.  The time when friends and family gather together and ideally reflect on all of the things that we have to be thankful for in our great nation.  Although President Lincoln was credited with establishing the third Thursday of the month as a national day of thanksgiving, it was President George Washington who proclaimed the first national day of Thanksgiving on November 26, 1789.  His words reflect the intention of such a day:

[T]hen unite in most humbly offering our prayers and supplications to the great Lord and Ruler of Nations, and beseech Him to pardon our national and other transgressions; to enable us all, whether in public or private stations, to perform our several and relative duties properly and punctually; to render our National Government a blessing to all the people by constantly being a Government of wise, just, and constitutional laws, discreetly and faithfully executed and obeyed; to protect and guide all sovereigns and nations (especially such as have shown kindness to us), and to bless them with good governments, peace, and concord; to promote the knowledge and practice of true religion and virtue, and the increase of science among them and us; and, generally, to grant unto all mankind such a degree of temporal prosperity as He alone knows to be best.


It was to a toddler nation that he penned these words as the intention of the day of thanksgiving.  I won't preach here, for him who has ears to hear, let him hear.

It's ironic that the day of Thanksgiving is followed by the all out commercial and material slugfest of Black Friday...what some companies have called the 'Super Bowl of the retail world'.  It seemed in days gone by like Thanksgiving wasn't as difficult as it is now.  Extended families, generally speaking, didn't stray too far from one another.  Families could gather at a home and enjoy the day stuffing themselves to the brim with a full spread brought together by (many times both sets of) grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, along with the occasional strays invited to come along.  Mornings spent together watching the Macy's parade, afternoons with football and naps.  Cousins would gather together outside (OK, probably kicked outside by parents wanting some peace and quiet) to play an impromptu football game...full contact of course.  What else were you supposed to do in your nice 'going to grandma's Thanksgiving clothes'?  Scrapes, bruises, occasional tears, and 'cousin fights' would interrupt the best game ever.  After spending the day together, each would go back to their respective homes to enjoy the long weekend.

I remember going to my Grandma Dougherty's house one Thanksgiving.  My cousins Greg and Dave were going to be there.  That always meant some fun in the neighborhood near Friends University in Wichita.  The university had been building and there were huge mountains of nice black Kansas dirt due to the construction.  When you have five boys, mountains of dirt, and neighborhood boys lurking around, what else can you do??  Dirt clod wars, of course!  We hurled clods of dirt at the enemy as cousins bonded together on the battlefield, brothers in arms...of course, in our 'going to grandma's Thanksgiving clothes'.  I don't know if our parents were more upset over the dirt which covered our good clothes or the blood that was seeping from my cousin's head from the stone that was embedded in one of the enemy's topsoil grenade.  Some ideas look a lot better at the outset and don't end so well.

It's so much different now.  We have Dad's house with his new wife, Mom's house with her new husband, each of their parents (multiple grandparents), scattered anywhere from the east to the west coast, making scheduling time with families very difficult.  It results in 4-6 full blown Thanksgiving dinners in the course of a 4 to 6 day period.  That's a lot of tryptophan!  Perhaps even lethal doses are consumed during the week!  Maybe turkeys should come with a warning label from the Surgeon General...  There's the company and the church Thanksgiving meals to boot.  Holy cow (no pun intended), it's no wonder our country struggles with obesity!

Not everyone has the Hallmark card families...it's sometimes like the illustration above.  With the complications of families that are fragmented comes frustration and anxiety.  Relationships between family members aren't always ideal.  Toleration is sometimes the operative word for a Thanksgiving meal to be considered a success.  Scheduling these multiple familial visits is a hassle.  One stubborn and unbending party can mess it up for many others, creating hard feelings and tension. 

As much as I'd like to have those old fashioned Thanksgiving days of my childhood, they are long gone.  Things are different.  It calls for a change in expectations and perhaps changes in traditions.  Who says you have to have a full blown Thanksgiving meal every time?    What's more important...your desire for the Hallmark family Thanksgiving meal, or relationships?  Do we really need that much food?  Are we forgetting the whole intention of the day? 

As for the Freaking Genius, I had a huge meal today at work...followed by wanting a nap badly because I overdosed on food.  Too many choices, too little plate.  I came close to taking a George Costanza siesta under my desk.   Wednesday night is with my oldest son and his wife at my mom's house for meal 2..Thanksgiving Lite.  Thursday will be with some new friends, and Saturday will be with my middle son and his girlfriend (no Thanksgiving meal...thankfully!!).  My youngest has black Friday duties all weekend, so we'll have our day of thanks on another day...and you know what?  That's OK with both of us!  I'll enjoy every second of time I have with my family...it's not about the meal, it's about the company.

My hope for you is that you have calm and relaxing Thanksgiving Days with your families.  Enjoy the meals, enjoy the people, the parades and football games.  Don't drive on a tryptophan high, and be safe!  FG


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