50 Shades of Black



It's the end of the Thanksgiving weekend.  My overstuffed body is on my overstuffed couch.  Seems like the perfect combination.  I probably should be taking my overstuffed body to the understuffed gym instead.  No....tomorrow is probably going to be a much better day for the gym anyway. 

Our country did a good job yet again making Black Friday even darker.  Maybe a new book?  "50 Shades of Black"?  There was a disagreement over a 'primo' parking spot at a Walmart.  Two people were shot...yep, over a parking spot.  Sheesh.  In a Victoria's Secret in Northern California, a fist fight broke out between two women and then the dudes started duking it out over....women's underwear.  Although it's still ridiculous, it's easier to understand the females getting into a fight over the last couple of on sale skivvies...I don't know what to say about the guys.  Were they upset because THEY wanted the black lacy thongs?  Was it the only pair left in their size?  Whatever they may have been trying to keep in the closet is out there for the world to see now!  Should have gone to Vegas guys...everybody knows Victoria can't keep a secret!

What was it about Victoria's Secret on Black Friday?  Most of the stories I read about violence on our retailers' Super Bowl of shopping days was about Victoria's Secret.  Crowds, trampling, fearful employees pleading with people to calm down, black eyes, fights, brawls that spilled out into the mall.  Wow!  I had no idea we took our sexy seductive undergarments so seriously!  The story that will go with some guys gift...she gets excited when she takes off the wrapping paper, sees the Victoria's Secret box and she knows it's going to be good.  The black lace makes her blush a bit as she lifts the undies up and views them.  He got them half price...what a thrifty shopper!  What a deal.  Only cost him a black eye, bloody knuckles, 24 hours in jail, attorney fees, court costs, stitches in the ER, and a lifetime ban from the local mall and from every Victoria's Secret in continental US.  What a deal!!

For those reasons and many more, I have successfully avoided Black Friday like the Black Plague.  Ok, probably the biggest reason is that morning sucks, and until I wake up and had plenty o coffee, I'd be on the news with the rest of those violent thugs.  There really isn't any lingerie or parking spot that is worth all of that.  I save all of my rage for the freeway every morning and evening on my commute. 

For me, the Friday after Thanksgiving will continue to be about recovering from extreme gluttony...a much nicer sin than punching and shooting people.  

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