Biscuits and Gravy, Ninja Style
For a while now, my oldest son, his wife and now my grandson, my Mom, and I all live in the same town. It's been nice having everyone close since it's been a long time since we've all been within a handful of miles of one another. My other two sons aren't too far away, but we can't seem to get together as often. I'm really glad that my little man, my grandson Sammy, lives so close...makes a Papa happy!
One of the traditions that we have started is getting together for a family dinner night. Up until recently, it's been on Wednesday nights...a standing date with the fam. I've always believed that family traditions are important and valuable...they don't seem to be as treasured by families as they used to be, generally speaking. We rotate going to each others' homes, and after a full rotation, we go out to eat somewhere. Because of crazy work schedules, we've decided that Sunday brunch may be a better time. So this morning, we were invited to brunch at Mom's house. Oh, and she added to our invitation, "There are a couple of things I'd like for you to do while you're here." OK...breakfast...we're there!
Mom has always been a good cook. I can't remember her ever cooking a bad meal...I remember her making things I didn't like so much (tuna anything; cat food isn't meant for human consumption), but she seemed to do them all well. This morning, she lovingly prepared one of Kyle and my favorites...biscuits and gravy. Mom always sets an attractive table, and as always, she didn't cut any corners. Sammy gets some loving, everyone takes their places, the blessing is asked, and elbows fly digging in. To Kyle and I, biscuits and gravy are like southern caviar. It doesn't get much better than that...that old southern saying indicating that it's so good it "makes you wanna slap your mama" was never more true than this morning. But it wasn't the biscuits and gravy that did it.
Remember that comment with the invitation? "There are a couple of things I'd like for you to do"?? Yeah, about that...that's when the 3 ring binder came out. I suppose, in Mom's defense, if she wouldn't have generalized by saying "a couple of things", she wouldn't have seen us. Now mind you, Kyle and I are ready for "a couple of things", both mentally and with our respective wardrobe choices. We look at the list:
Replace the screen with glass in the back door, scape and paint the back windows, carry the mulch and decorative brick out of the garage to the back yard, move the bird bath, prune the pampas grass back in the front yard, count the number of granules on the roof shingles to make sure none are missing, move the house 3" to the south on the foundation, overhaul the engine on her Nissan Maxima...are you freakin' kidding me???
Kyle and I looked at each other and knew we'd been ninja'd. Dammit...she'd done it again! Mom's a master...a certified 14th degree black belt. It was a bait and switch job pulled off more brilliantly than the Obamacare roll out. We're both cursing under our breath, both because we'd been so easily duped, and simply because we weren't at all prepared for what was being asked of us.
Then the jockeying starts....Kyle and I are both privately firing reasons at each other why we have to leave early, have things to do, and can't possibly make it through that daunting list of crap to do. Watching Kyle and I at that juncture is like watching the World Series of Poker...we play our cards well and skillfully, and neither really knows if the other is bluffing. This time, the game was cut short...it was as if we knew we were screwed to a degree. Neither one of us officially folded...we both, without a word being spoken, started reasoning that it was impossible to accomplish all of that with the time we had available, so we started dividing responsibilities notifying Mom that some of those big ticket items would have to wait for another day when we were...oh, I don't know....prepared or something...sheesh!
We moved faster than two methheads who had just smoked crack...we busted our butts...we were two men on a mission. I know there was smoke coming off the soles of our shoes like off the wheels of two cars leaving the line at the drag races. We got our individual tasks done, then teamed up on some of the other things...never have we worked so smoothly or efficiently. It was done...for now. We both made it to our previously scheduled afternoon appointments relatively unscathed. Most of the jobs were done, our bellies were full, and left Mom's house a little bit wiser.
Never trust an old woman who offers you a luscious brunch of biscuits and gravy...it's a trick....some things ARE too good to be true.
One of the traditions that we have started is getting together for a family dinner night. Up until recently, it's been on Wednesday nights...a standing date with the fam. I've always believed that family traditions are important and valuable...they don't seem to be as treasured by families as they used to be, generally speaking. We rotate going to each others' homes, and after a full rotation, we go out to eat somewhere. Because of crazy work schedules, we've decided that Sunday brunch may be a better time. So this morning, we were invited to brunch at Mom's house. Oh, and she added to our invitation, "There are a couple of things I'd like for you to do while you're here." OK...breakfast...we're there!
Mom has always been a good cook. I can't remember her ever cooking a bad meal...I remember her making things I didn't like so much (tuna anything; cat food isn't meant for human consumption), but she seemed to do them all well. This morning, she lovingly prepared one of Kyle and my favorites...biscuits and gravy. Mom always sets an attractive table, and as always, she didn't cut any corners. Sammy gets some loving, everyone takes their places, the blessing is asked, and elbows fly digging in. To Kyle and I, biscuits and gravy are like southern caviar. It doesn't get much better than that...that old southern saying indicating that it's so good it "makes you wanna slap your mama" was never more true than this morning. But it wasn't the biscuits and gravy that did it.
Remember that comment with the invitation? "There are a couple of things I'd like for you to do"?? Yeah, about that...that's when the 3 ring binder came out. I suppose, in Mom's defense, if she wouldn't have generalized by saying "a couple of things", she wouldn't have seen us. Now mind you, Kyle and I are ready for "a couple of things", both mentally and with our respective wardrobe choices. We look at the list:
Replace the screen with glass in the back door, scape and paint the back windows, carry the mulch and decorative brick out of the garage to the back yard, move the bird bath, prune the pampas grass back in the front yard, count the number of granules on the roof shingles to make sure none are missing, move the house 3" to the south on the foundation, overhaul the engine on her Nissan Maxima...are you freakin' kidding me???
Kyle and I looked at each other and knew we'd been ninja'd. Dammit...she'd done it again! Mom's a master...a certified 14th degree black belt. It was a bait and switch job pulled off more brilliantly than the Obamacare roll out. We're both cursing under our breath, both because we'd been so easily duped, and simply because we weren't at all prepared for what was being asked of us.
Then the jockeying starts....Kyle and I are both privately firing reasons at each other why we have to leave early, have things to do, and can't possibly make it through that daunting list of crap to do. Watching Kyle and I at that juncture is like watching the World Series of Poker...we play our cards well and skillfully, and neither really knows if the other is bluffing. This time, the game was cut short...it was as if we knew we were screwed to a degree. Neither one of us officially folded...we both, without a word being spoken, started reasoning that it was impossible to accomplish all of that with the time we had available, so we started dividing responsibilities notifying Mom that some of those big ticket items would have to wait for another day when we were...oh, I don't know....prepared or something...sheesh!
We moved faster than two methheads who had just smoked crack...we busted our butts...we were two men on a mission. I know there was smoke coming off the soles of our shoes like off the wheels of two cars leaving the line at the drag races. We got our individual tasks done, then teamed up on some of the other things...never have we worked so smoothly or efficiently. It was done...for now. We both made it to our previously scheduled afternoon appointments relatively unscathed. Most of the jobs were done, our bellies were full, and left Mom's house a little bit wiser.
Never trust an old woman who offers you a luscious brunch of biscuits and gravy...it's a trick....some things ARE too good to be true.
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