The Testosterone Wars
There's never been a shortage of testosterone in our side of the family, for better or worse. I'm not sure why, but we can't seem to procreate and produce a female as a result. I've heard theories about why it hasn't happened, but it's not appropriate for my little blog.
I have a twin brother. We don't look alike...it's obvious when you look at us that I tapped into the stores of testosterone and left him wanting (I still love you anyway bro). I had an older brother...no sisters. Mom had her hands full raising three boys. Growing up on a farm, Dad loved the free slave labor though. He always had someone to take care of 1,000 head of hogs when he was on duty at the fire station...sheesh. Though I'm grateful for the experience now, I wasn't a huge fan at the time!
Mom tried her best to try, at least, to raise some gentlemen. She would stand in front of a closed door for hours until the thing opened up for her. She was (and is) a stubborn woman, but hopefully it paid off. She taught us to clean house, do laundry, iron clothes, make our beds daily, use our manners and respect others, bathe on a semi regular basis, and be at least a little civilized for someone of the male species. And that can be a huge task!
Meal times were always interesting. Dad was always a fast eater with a voracious appetite. He was used to eating fast on the fire department..the alarm sounding (I found out from experience) could cut a highly nutritious meal short. Hungry dad wasn't a happy dad. So if you didn't keep up a little at least during mealtime, you were screwed. You'd walk away disappointed and hungry. So when Mom set food on the table, it was like dropping a bucket of fish guts in a shark tank. Elbows flying, kicking under the table, forks plunging into the back of hands, all the while saying "please pass the potatoes" and "thank you for a great meal, Mother".
Then it was my turn to procreate. First kiddo was a son. I was a happy camper. I knew how to handle guys, that's all I ever knew growing up. So it wasn't a huge chore for me. Girls, think about it, we're really not that complicated. And sometimes we're....let's face it....not very smart! The second kiddo came along...shock!...another boy. And then a third..yep, a man child. So their mom and I tried hard to teach them what my Mom and Dad tried to teach my brothers and I...survival skills for men. Looking at the guys today, in spite of me most of the time, they've turned out pretty darned good!
My twin brother followed the same path, in spite of his low T. :) Yep, two boys! Mom must not have an inside track on God, because I know she's been on her knees many, many times praying for a granddaughter, and now a great-granddaughter. I'm convinced that God knows we would jack girls way up! They'd know how to play baseball, football, and basketball...how to knock out a guy with one punch, and other highly useful skills...but probably not being a girl so much. God really does know what he's doing, I'm convinced.
My friend Greg has the opposite issue, all girls, no boys. I've pitied him many times. Girls are complicated...a challenge to say the least. I don't think I'll elaborate so I can avoid the nasty calls, texts, and emails...but you KNOW what I'm talking about. No wonder Greg, though younger than me, has more grey hair, and lesser quantities than I do. *coughdramacough* He missed out on a boy flying balls to the wall down the stairs on cardboard. He missed the middle son walking up the stairs in only his underwear, and when it's pointed out to him, he stops and says blandly, "I know dad, I like it that way." Ooooook! He missed wooden sword fights between a closed Jeep rag top, shattering the back window in the cold garage. And Kyle, it's taking everything in me not to rat out your little brother about the door. Aaarggghhh! I'll be good.
Now my boys are getting married and starting their own families. The oldest and his wife made their announcement that they are going to be parents. And they will be amazing parents! Yep, the Freakin' Genius is gonna be a Papa! I'm excited...very excited. So we've been seeing sonogram pics, there's a 4D coming soon...I've felt the little one already... Oh, yeah, the sonograms...there are just some things that can't be hidden...yep...it's a...wait for it....you'll never guess (riiiiight)....a BOY! Wow...didn't see that coming at all, did you. And he's pretty proud of his junk...one series of sonograms, he kept turning so his butt was facing the camera showing it off. He's already making Papa proud! Lol
Aaaand the Testosterone Wars rage on....with a clear winner in the Dougherty clan. And there isn't an end in the foreseeable future. The good news is, the name lives on (Oh c'mon, I heard all of the "oh crap's" out there!) The other good news....the oldest and his wife adopted embryos...pretty cool story that I'll save for another day. The short version, a fertility clinic puts the extra embryos up for adoption rather than destroying them....toooooo cool!! They went through donor profiles and selected the one they wanted. All of the embryos from these donors are reserved for them when they are ready to have another kiddo. This particular family had 8. When the kids are done, the remaining embryos will be released for someone else to adopt. this particular donor family wanted a health screening of these little ones because they had some health issues in the extended family and wanted to know if there were any issues they would face. And they were clear. The cool thing is, all of their kids will be blood siblings! That's really cool from the standpoint of an adopted kid! But here's the deal....when the health screening is done you automatically find out the gender. Drum roll please?!! 8 embryos...8 males! Hahaha...it's GO TIME!! FG
I have a twin brother. We don't look alike...it's obvious when you look at us that I tapped into the stores of testosterone and left him wanting (I still love you anyway bro). I had an older brother...no sisters. Mom had her hands full raising three boys. Growing up on a farm, Dad loved the free slave labor though. He always had someone to take care of 1,000 head of hogs when he was on duty at the fire station...sheesh. Though I'm grateful for the experience now, I wasn't a huge fan at the time!
Mom tried her best to try, at least, to raise some gentlemen. She would stand in front of a closed door for hours until the thing opened up for her. She was (and is) a stubborn woman, but hopefully it paid off. She taught us to clean house, do laundry, iron clothes, make our beds daily, use our manners and respect others, bathe on a semi regular basis, and be at least a little civilized for someone of the male species. And that can be a huge task!
Meal times were always interesting. Dad was always a fast eater with a voracious appetite. He was used to eating fast on the fire department..the alarm sounding (I found out from experience) could cut a highly nutritious meal short. Hungry dad wasn't a happy dad. So if you didn't keep up a little at least during mealtime, you were screwed. You'd walk away disappointed and hungry. So when Mom set food on the table, it was like dropping a bucket of fish guts in a shark tank. Elbows flying, kicking under the table, forks plunging into the back of hands, all the while saying "please pass the potatoes" and "thank you for a great meal, Mother".
Then it was my turn to procreate. First kiddo was a son. I was a happy camper. I knew how to handle guys, that's all I ever knew growing up. So it wasn't a huge chore for me. Girls, think about it, we're really not that complicated. And sometimes we're....let's face it....not very smart! The second kiddo came along...shock!...another boy. And then a third..yep, a man child. So their mom and I tried hard to teach them what my Mom and Dad tried to teach my brothers and I...survival skills for men. Looking at the guys today, in spite of me most of the time, they've turned out pretty darned good!
My twin brother followed the same path, in spite of his low T. :) Yep, two boys! Mom must not have an inside track on God, because I know she's been on her knees many, many times praying for a granddaughter, and now a great-granddaughter. I'm convinced that God knows we would jack girls way up! They'd know how to play baseball, football, and basketball...how to knock out a guy with one punch, and other highly useful skills...but probably not being a girl so much. God really does know what he's doing, I'm convinced.
My friend Greg has the opposite issue, all girls, no boys. I've pitied him many times. Girls are complicated...a challenge to say the least. I don't think I'll elaborate so I can avoid the nasty calls, texts, and emails...but you KNOW what I'm talking about. No wonder Greg, though younger than me, has more grey hair, and lesser quantities than I do. *coughdramacough* He missed out on a boy flying balls to the wall down the stairs on cardboard. He missed the middle son walking up the stairs in only his underwear, and when it's pointed out to him, he stops and says blandly, "I know dad, I like it that way." Ooooook! He missed wooden sword fights between a closed Jeep rag top, shattering the back window in the cold garage. And Kyle, it's taking everything in me not to rat out your little brother about the door. Aaarggghhh! I'll be good.
Now my boys are getting married and starting their own families. The oldest and his wife made their announcement that they are going to be parents. And they will be amazing parents! Yep, the Freakin' Genius is gonna be a Papa! I'm excited...very excited. So we've been seeing sonogram pics, there's a 4D coming soon...I've felt the little one already... Oh, yeah, the sonograms...there are just some things that can't be hidden...yep...it's a...wait for it....you'll never guess (riiiiight)....a BOY! Wow...didn't see that coming at all, did you. And he's pretty proud of his junk...one series of sonograms, he kept turning so his butt was facing the camera showing it off. He's already making Papa proud! Lol
Aaaand the Testosterone Wars rage on....with a clear winner in the Dougherty clan. And there isn't an end in the foreseeable future. The good news is, the name lives on (Oh c'mon, I heard all of the "oh crap's" out there!) The other good news....the oldest and his wife adopted embryos...pretty cool story that I'll save for another day. The short version, a fertility clinic puts the extra embryos up for adoption rather than destroying them....toooooo cool!! They went through donor profiles and selected the one they wanted. All of the embryos from these donors are reserved for them when they are ready to have another kiddo. This particular family had 8. When the kids are done, the remaining embryos will be released for someone else to adopt. this particular donor family wanted a health screening of these little ones because they had some health issues in the extended family and wanted to know if there were any issues they would face. And they were clear. The cool thing is, all of their kids will be blood siblings! That's really cool from the standpoint of an adopted kid! But here's the deal....when the health screening is done you automatically find out the gender. Drum roll please?!! 8 embryos...8 males! Hahaha...it's GO TIME!! FG
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