Reflections of a Freaking Genius

"Freaking Genius" and "scientist" seem like they really should go together.  I've been working on this theory for a while now.  I've bounced it off a few experts in the field, and to date, I haven't had any arguments to the contrary.  I haven't had any requests from professional journals to publish my thesis yet, but I'm sure those requests will start pouring in now.  Years (about 25 now) of research have gone into the conclusions I've drawn.  Many years of sleepless nights, blood, sweat, tears, and some wonderful medication have gone into this project.  I really think that there are many other professionals who share the same theory, though it's been difficult to prove conclusively.  I think I'm the first theorist who has had the courage to articulate this...you know....out loud. The "Theory of Relative Stupidity" goes like this:  Children actually come from aliens.  There, I said it.  And it really feels good having said...

I remember the old phone with rotary dial.  That's what I grew up with.  It took for...ev...er to make a long distance phone call.  Especially if the phone number had a bunch of digits bigger than 5.  Dialing would almost make you so tired that you'd forget who you were calling.  I'm glad those went away.  I don't miss them at all.  Kind of like my bag phone.  I was really cool for a few months carrying that bag phone around with me, laying it on the table in the restaurant like I was all that.  I don't miss that either.  I'm happy now with Siri and my iPhone.  There are tons of things I grew up with that I don't miss at all. It's not that way with everything, though.  I miss the simple times on the farm.  I miss the sound of scratchy disks playing on the record player.  I miss playing in the yard with my brothers.  ....and I miss the days of common courtesy. Emerson is the one I heard was credited with the ...