It's About Freakin Time!

The senate unanimously agreeing on ANYTHING in the year 2022?  Incomprehensible.  After a few years some of the most blatant attempts to drive a massive wedge in the middle of this nation and divide it in two using any means - and crisis - necessary, it's difficult to conceive that unanimity of any sort would be remotely possible.  Not since the battle between the north and the south have we seen such rancor, meanness, hostility, incivility, hatred, and enmity from a republic which those on the outside will end run every legal avenue to become a part of while the blindfolded guardians swing the floodgates open wide.  Sometimes I sit back, scratch my head, and ask myself "Why here?".  But I digress. 

Finally our beloved elected officials have actually united to face an issue which began as a joke but eventually became a sinister and evil reality hatched from the very depths of the abyss: daylight savings time.  Benjamin Franklin proposed the idea in a satirical letter to the editor back the day to save the amount of wax being destroyed by citizens during waking hours of darkness...oh the humanity!  I'm sure those who had the corner on the candle market fought that ridiculous notion tooth and nail.  I'm sure it was....quickly snuffed out.  You're welcome.  

Through a series of unfortunate decisions, setting the clock forward in the spring and backward in the fall became an awful reality.  Clearly it was an attempt to keep the general populace in a sleep deprived stupor and causing our circadian rhythm to be as out of kilter as a drunken pirate trying to walk a straight on the ships deck during a  hurricane. Obviously 'they' wanted to keep the citizenry dazed and confused, forever wasting hours of time and debate trying to figure out if we are actually losing or gaining an hour in the spring.  Obviously some kind of false flag operation to distract us from the stuff going on 'over there' --------->. 

I've never really been a fan of the whole thing.  Typically it's weeks before my body gets accustomed to the mocking clock face.  Now that my workout time is 4:30am, when my body says, "Huh uh, bucko, it's 3:30am and that's when we sleep!" it's a lot easier to roll over and play dead.  After a week or two my system seems to do the hard restart of unplugging itself and plugging itself back in.  Think about it.  The whole population slightly off of our physical and mental A game, sleepwalking half of a year at a time.  Being fatigued, no doubt more susceptible to marketing suggestion and political manipulation.  Too many years of that we'll be watering our plants with Brawndo...you know...because it has what plants crave.  Electrolytes. (if you haven't seen the prophetic movie "Idiocracy" I'll question our friendship).  

I'm quite certain if it weren't for daylight saving time clock changes I'd have been a Nobel peace prize winning writer, the top of my high school and college classes, had multiple PhD's under my belt, undoubtedly an inventor of several world changing products, a gazillionaire,  and probably a president of the United States.  Actually, back that last one up.  I'm more than qualified for that now apparently.  The bar has been set pretty low over the last few years, we just haven't had an WWE wrestler as president....yet (see Idiocracy above).  My point is that I'm quite confident that DST (daylight saving time) hasn't made us smarter, sharper, more productive or any of the like.  It's been an evil conspiracy to control us.  

And now, because of a unanimous senate vote, and a pending house vote and POTUS signature, the DST reign of terror may finally be over.  Or is it becoming permanent??  Are we going to be falling forward or springing back??  Am I changing my clock again??  Do I change it at midnight or 2AM?  Maybe I'll just let the stove, microwave, and VCR lights be on permanent blinking dashes like at my Mom's house. 

I wonder how long it will last.  Maybe we've simply found something else to force that wedge a little deeper.  Google what happened the last time we unplugged the clock changing nonsense.  People became frustrated with it being dark at 8:30am.  Kids going to school with flashlights, going to work in the darkness; clearly it was the apocalypse.  I'm sure the current debate will bring out the very best in humanity.  If anyone needs me, I'll be on the porch in the dark donning my tin foil hat while sipping my Brawndo with my circadian dancing with the stars in perfect rhythm.  FG



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