I Shall Not Be Moved
It's not just a hymn anymore. It's the mantra of the "Passing Lane Squatter". You've read me long enough to know that I maaaaay have a couple of driving peeves. "Night Crawlers" are another one of them...you know...those people who insist on driving in the dark and rain without their headlights on. I suppose they don't mind the risk of getting hit head on or sideswiped by innocents merely trying to get to work on time.
I have yet to understand the "Passing Lane Squatter". I mean, the land rush happened in Oklahoma around 100 years ago, and I'm pretty sure I read that it was over at least a couple of months ago. They plant themselves in the lane like they're staking a claim. "This is mine and you can't have it" seems to be their attitude. I'm pretty sure my boys got over that at, oh, I don't know...three or four years old. It's as if that lane is hallowed ground, privileged pavement, or the "narrow way" that leads to heaven. Actually, the last could be true if I get my James Bond forward launching missile system for the Mustang that I asked to get from Santa this year.
There's not a lot more irritating to me than to be trucking along in the right lane, come up on a slower car, signal, change lanes, only to meet a car that is just under a car length in front of the car I passed that is traveling at the same....freakin....speed...f...o....r...e....v....e....r!!!!!! I'm one of those guys, that if I'm in the position of that Squatter, I'll politely speed up slightly to give the dude in the right lane some space, signal, and turn to the right lane allowing the faster car behind me the opportunity to pass. Seriously, what's so difficult about that?? I don't care if the dude behind me going way too fast...it ain't MY ticket! Let him go!
I don't know if Squatters are simply unaware of what's going on around them, if they're in therapy for passive aggressiveness, or if they're still angry because they didn't have their diaper changed in a timely fashion when they were infants. Whatever the case may be, they drive as if they've made special contributions to the state to own that portion of the highway. They're probably the same ones who don't pull over and stop for emergency vehicles (another post for another day...sheesh).
It's as if a guy got into his car that morning and told his wife, "Let's go to town." Wife responds, "Where are we going?". They guy replies, "Oh, I don't know. Let's just get into the car and start driving a random direction that leads to God only knows where, and if we get there we'll think of something to do, and then see if we can make it back home...sometime." What the heck?? When I get into my car, I know where I'm going, have mentally mapped my route, know what I need, get in the store (or whatever), get whatever I need and get the heck out, and then go home. It's not complicated!! Get it figured out, people!! Make a plan, work your plan!! And MOVE!! Geeeeez.
I would never expect someone to exceed the speed limit. The left lane is the passing lane. If you use the left lane to pass a slower vehicle, make sure you have enough hamsters in the wheel under your hood to pass that car. If not...stay put! Again, people, life isn't complicated. Some of you are the reason that the rate of heart attacks is so high. It's not smoking, not drinking, not drugs, not eating too many Big Macs...it's people who camp out in the left lane!! I want to teach some people what the term "bump drafting" means.
I'm by no means a perfect driver. On the other hand, I'm not a horrible one either. I'm about ready to lobby for driving exams to be required every 5 years; written AND driving (including illegal aliens). If you don't pass, you don't drive for a year at which time you'll be allowed to retake the tests. I swear, we'd weed out half the drivers in the country and it would leave the rest of us plenty of room on the highways of America. Then perhaps, people would remember what a turn signal and headlights are for, what a yield sign is, what a red light is....oh, and what the left lane is for. Maybe if they did it in Oklahoma, they could have enough revenue from exam fees that every road in the state wouldn't have to be a toll road! Honestly, I don't have much hope for it to catch on, so the best I can do is hope that the fat man in the red suit delivers on Christmas morning. FG
I have yet to understand the "Passing Lane Squatter". I mean, the land rush happened in Oklahoma around 100 years ago, and I'm pretty sure I read that it was over at least a couple of months ago. They plant themselves in the lane like they're staking a claim. "This is mine and you can't have it" seems to be their attitude. I'm pretty sure my boys got over that at, oh, I don't know...three or four years old. It's as if that lane is hallowed ground, privileged pavement, or the "narrow way" that leads to heaven. Actually, the last could be true if I get my James Bond forward launching missile system for the Mustang that I asked to get from Santa this year.
There's not a lot more irritating to me than to be trucking along in the right lane, come up on a slower car, signal, change lanes, only to meet a car that is just under a car length in front of the car I passed that is traveling at the same....freakin....speed...f...o....r...e....v....e....r!!!!!! I'm one of those guys, that if I'm in the position of that Squatter, I'll politely speed up slightly to give the dude in the right lane some space, signal, and turn to the right lane allowing the faster car behind me the opportunity to pass. Seriously, what's so difficult about that?? I don't care if the dude behind me going way too fast...it ain't MY ticket! Let him go!
I don't know if Squatters are simply unaware of what's going on around them, if they're in therapy for passive aggressiveness, or if they're still angry because they didn't have their diaper changed in a timely fashion when they were infants. Whatever the case may be, they drive as if they've made special contributions to the state to own that portion of the highway. They're probably the same ones who don't pull over and stop for emergency vehicles (another post for another day...sheesh).
It's as if a guy got into his car that morning and told his wife, "Let's go to town." Wife responds, "Where are we going?". They guy replies, "Oh, I don't know. Let's just get into the car and start driving a random direction that leads to God only knows where, and if we get there we'll think of something to do, and then see if we can make it back home...sometime." What the heck?? When I get into my car, I know where I'm going, have mentally mapped my route, know what I need, get in the store (or whatever), get whatever I need and get the heck out, and then go home. It's not complicated!! Get it figured out, people!! Make a plan, work your plan!! And MOVE!! Geeeeez.
I would never expect someone to exceed the speed limit. The left lane is the passing lane. If you use the left lane to pass a slower vehicle, make sure you have enough hamsters in the wheel under your hood to pass that car. If not...stay put! Again, people, life isn't complicated. Some of you are the reason that the rate of heart attacks is so high. It's not smoking, not drinking, not drugs, not eating too many Big Macs...it's people who camp out in the left lane!! I want to teach some people what the term "bump drafting" means.
I'm by no means a perfect driver. On the other hand, I'm not a horrible one either. I'm about ready to lobby for driving exams to be required every 5 years; written AND driving (including illegal aliens). If you don't pass, you don't drive for a year at which time you'll be allowed to retake the tests. I swear, we'd weed out half the drivers in the country and it would leave the rest of us plenty of room on the highways of America. Then perhaps, people would remember what a turn signal and headlights are for, what a yield sign is, what a red light is....oh, and what the left lane is for. Maybe if they did it in Oklahoma, they could have enough revenue from exam fees that every road in the state wouldn't have to be a toll road! Honestly, I don't have much hope for it to catch on, so the best I can do is hope that the fat man in the red suit delivers on Christmas morning. FG
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